STEVA AT THE MALL!!!

Steve and Eva, the two best friends since peanut butter and Jelly, decided one day to go to the mall. Eva wanted to go because she was almost out of eye make-up and books to read, and Steve wanted to go because of his love for Cinnabon and because going to the mall is better any day than sitting at home trying to learn Spanish, which is what he was originally going to do.
As the two hombres walked into the mall, Steve asked Eva a question. "Eva, you speak spanish. Since we're here at the mall will you teach me the names of objects in Spanish? That way I'll both be able to learn Spanish like I was going to and have the best day ever spending time with you at the mall."
"Yes I will," said Eva. "Gladly-- I love sharing my knowledge with a friend like you, and I know if I wanted to speak German you'd teach me to."
"Ja," said Steve. "I definitely would!"
Eva's first stop was at the make-up store. It went uneventfully, with Eva buying eye-make up and a pretty purplish-red lipstick and Steve learning that "store" in Spanish is "Tienda." But then Eva and Steve went to the Border's bookstore in the mall. Just as Steve was learning about the Spanish word "Libre" and Eva was about to buy a book about civil war re-enacting, a loud shout went up from the registers.
"What?!" said a man's voice. "I'm not paying $15.00 for a paperback book! Fuck you! Fuck you!"
Steve and Eva looked over-- there as a big giant man in a blue jacket with long yellow hair yelling at the salesperson behind the counter. He was furious. Steve watched with Eva as the manager came over to help the man, but he wasn't hearing it. "AHHHH!" he screamed and pushed over a display of bookmarks. Then he pulled out a gun.
Steve responded immediately, grabbing Eva and throwing them both to the floor. Luckily, the sound of the giant man at the desk hid the sound of the fall.
"Eva!" whispered Steve. "He's got a gun!"
"What should we do, Steve?!"
"Give me a second to think, Eva."
Eva and Steve heard the sound of the man at the counter demanding all the money in the cash register and a bunch of free gift certificates and a bunch of free books. "Give me those books!" said the man at the counter. "Or I'll blow your fucking brain out the back of your skull and onto those calendars!"
"Steve?" said Eva. "I don't think we have a second."
"Good." said Steve. "Cause I've got a plan."
"What is it?"
"There's only one way we can do this-- we have to absolutely count on each other as friends."
"No problem, mein freund." said Eva, using some of the German she had picked up from Steve.
"Thanks, Hombre." said Steve, using some of the Spanish Eva had taught him. "This plan will never work unless I know you as well as I think I do-- and if you ask me, I do." said Steve. He told Eva the plan.
"I'm not worried about this plan at all." said Eva.
"Even though we could die?"
"Yes."
The two awesome friends nodded. If they were gonna die in this bookstore in the mall, at least they would die together.
"Go!" said Steve.
Steve ran ducking to the edge of the shelf. He peeked out-- the robber was filling up a duffel bag with expensive books. Just then he heard a sound at the back of the store. Eva had thrown a book-- the first part of the plan." The robber turned to face the noise. "There better not be anyone back there!" said the the robber. "Unless they want to DIE!!!!!"
Steve's guts told him to run back and help Eva, but he knew he shouldn't. Eva had done her part, now it was time for Steve to do his. As the robber faced the back of the store, distracted, Steve ran out the front of the store.
As he stepped into the hardware store next door, Steve's heart was pounding like a jackhammer. What if something went wrong?!! No. He had to trust the plan and he had to trust Eva. Steve picked up a cinder block and back to the bookstore, not even paying for the block. At the front Eva and the robber were no where to be seen. Then Steve heard a shout.
"What are you doing lurking back here?!?! Now I'm gonna blow your brains out!."
Steve knew he was almost out of time. Hefting the heavy cinder block over his head, he ran as quitely as he could to the very back of the store, finding Eva with her back pressed up against a wall of science fiction novels. The robber was right in front of her, his gun pointed at her head. Steve tiptoed right up behind the robber. He looked at Eva. Then Eva looked at Steve, and smiled.
"What are you looking at, you fucking bitch!!!" said the robber. He spun around to face Steve just as Steve brought the cinder block smashing down. It hit him in the forehead. His skull cracked in half and blood came out of his eyes and he fell to the ground, unconcious.
Both Steve and Eva breathed a sigh of relief.
"Are you okay?" asked Steve.
"Are you okay?" asked Eva hilariously.
The two laughed-- it had been a pretty scary experience for them both, but things had turned out alright. Once again, their friendship had pulled them through.

* * *
LATER

"And that's how it happened," said Steve to the police chief, having just described what had happened to him earlier in the day.
"Wow." said the cheif. " That was very heroic of you both"
"Thanks," said Eva.
"Since that man was a wanted criminal," said the Cheif, "You guys deserve a reward."
"I don't need a reward," said Steve. "I've already got my friendship with Eva."
"Me neither." said Eva. "My reward is our friendship."

The police chief laughed, but that didn't stop him from convincing Steve and Eva to take 150 dollars in mall money. Each.