THE END OF STEVA??!!?!?!!? PART TWO
A month after Steve was forced away from the prison in which Eva was being held for selling drugs to kids, he still had no answers. He had tried everything-- private detectives, his own investigating, writing letters to Eva. But the clues were so airtight that investigating just revealed the same facts over and over. Eva had been arrested for selling drugs to kids. After her arrest, three hundred pounds of drugs had been found in Eva's red ford focus. A picture, sent in to the police by anonymous citizen, showed a red ford focus with Eva's liscense plate (FNTIMZ) in front of a school with kids gathered around it. The kids all had drugged-out expressions on their faces.
The police were so mad at Eva that they wouldn't let anyone see her, and they had assigned her a terrible lawyer named Felvin McGee. Steve had asked around about him, and it turned out he was a known alcholic and a convicted and supposedly reformed arsonist. He had never won a case except once, and that was when DNA evidence revealed that a woman had never been raped anyway.
It was this lawyer that Steve was driving to see. The trial was set to begin in only three days, and Steve wanted to see if there was anything he could do to help. As he parked and headed up the creaky stairs to McGee's office, Steve couldn't help but almost cry. It had been so long since he had seen his best friend Eva, and so long since they had had any amazing friendship adventures together. Also Steve was terrified of what might happen to Eva inside "the big house." Especially if she lost this trial.
Steve knocked briskly on Felvin McGee's door, somewhat concerned that the word "Lawyer" was mispelled on the nameplate. He was even more concerned when the door opened and a thick wave of body odor, pot smoke, and vomit stench washed over him. There, badly dressed in a filthy tank-top, cargo shorts, and a biking cap, stood Felvin McGee. His long yellow mustache and bare feet him look less like a lawyer and more like a someone who had just had their mobile home destroyed by a tornado.
"Steve!" said Felvin. " Come on in! I was just thinking about the case"
Steve headed into the office, stepping around large piles of yellow legal pads, pizza boxes, bongs, and frisbee magazines.
"Sorry about the mess-- the cleaning lady was slain last week in a bizzare accident." said Felvin, hopping over a stack of newspapers that must have represented three weeks worth of news. "Take a seat-- let's talk about poor Eve and how this theft case is a travesty of injustice."
Steve hadn't said a word but he was already boiling. This last line snapped him. "HEY!" he shouted. "Her name is EVA not EVE and it isn't a case about THEFT it's a case about DRUGS!!"
"Whoa, sorry man. I guess I was just confused with another case. Real sorry bud." said Felvin, thumbing through a deck of erotic playing cards and lighting a Newport.
Steve was not mollifed. "WHAT?!!? SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!! WHAT KIND OF LAWYER ARE YOU-- YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE CASE!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "EVA IS MY BEST FRIEND!!! YOU HAVE TO GET HER OUT OF JAIL!!!"
"You done yelling?" asked Felvin. "Cause I got news for you, bud. Your 'best friend' Eva is a drug dealer-- there's a picture to prove it, and they found drugs in her car. She's guilty. Guilty as sin. And even if I could do anything about it, I wouldn't. I might not be much of a lawyer, but even I'm not going to let someone who sells drugs to kids go free. In three days she's going to trial, and pretty soon after that she's going to be sentenced. TO LIFE IN PRISON."
"NO! She'd never do that! Eva would never sell drugs to kids!"
"Get out of my office and find a new best friend, Steve. Or I'll call the cops."
Steve left the office, tears of anger rolling down his face. He went to his car and drove away, pounding his steering wheel so hard that it bent. What could he do! Everywhere he turned he was faced with disaster, and time was rapidly running out. He had to think of something but it was so hard to think without Eva around. He decided to go back to his house and piece things together-- maybe write another letter to Eva telling her to ditch her stupid lawyer. Maybe, just maybe, she's respond to this letter.
Meanwhile, back in the office, "Felvin McGee" peeled off his mustache and took off his mullet wig. He looked in a mirror and studied the reflection-- yes, Dr. Bruce Mlassen was a very smart, very handsome man. He tried, but he couldn't control his laughter. Soon, Steva would be destroyed forever.
The police were so mad at Eva that they wouldn't let anyone see her, and they had assigned her a terrible lawyer named Felvin McGee. Steve had asked around about him, and it turned out he was a known alcholic and a convicted and supposedly reformed arsonist. He had never won a case except once, and that was when DNA evidence revealed that a woman had never been raped anyway.
It was this lawyer that Steve was driving to see. The trial was set to begin in only three days, and Steve wanted to see if there was anything he could do to help. As he parked and headed up the creaky stairs to McGee's office, Steve couldn't help but almost cry. It had been so long since he had seen his best friend Eva, and so long since they had had any amazing friendship adventures together. Also Steve was terrified of what might happen to Eva inside "the big house." Especially if she lost this trial.
Steve knocked briskly on Felvin McGee's door, somewhat concerned that the word "Lawyer" was mispelled on the nameplate. He was even more concerned when the door opened and a thick wave of body odor, pot smoke, and vomit stench washed over him. There, badly dressed in a filthy tank-top, cargo shorts, and a biking cap, stood Felvin McGee. His long yellow mustache and bare feet him look less like a lawyer and more like a someone who had just had their mobile home destroyed by a tornado.
"Steve!" said Felvin. " Come on in! I was just thinking about the case"
Steve headed into the office, stepping around large piles of yellow legal pads, pizza boxes, bongs, and frisbee magazines.
"Sorry about the mess-- the cleaning lady was slain last week in a bizzare accident." said Felvin, hopping over a stack of newspapers that must have represented three weeks worth of news. "Take a seat-- let's talk about poor Eve and how this theft case is a travesty of injustice."
Steve hadn't said a word but he was already boiling. This last line snapped him. "HEY!" he shouted. "Her name is EVA not EVE and it isn't a case about THEFT it's a case about DRUGS!!"
"Whoa, sorry man. I guess I was just confused with another case. Real sorry bud." said Felvin, thumbing through a deck of erotic playing cards and lighting a Newport.
Steve was not mollifed. "WHAT?!!? SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!!! WHAT KIND OF LAWYER ARE YOU-- YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE CASE!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "EVA IS MY BEST FRIEND!!! YOU HAVE TO GET HER OUT OF JAIL!!!"
"You done yelling?" asked Felvin. "Cause I got news for you, bud. Your 'best friend' Eva is a drug dealer-- there's a picture to prove it, and they found drugs in her car. She's guilty. Guilty as sin. And even if I could do anything about it, I wouldn't. I might not be much of a lawyer, but even I'm not going to let someone who sells drugs to kids go free. In three days she's going to trial, and pretty soon after that she's going to be sentenced. TO LIFE IN PRISON."
"NO! She'd never do that! Eva would never sell drugs to kids!"
"Get out of my office and find a new best friend, Steve. Or I'll call the cops."
Steve left the office, tears of anger rolling down his face. He went to his car and drove away, pounding his steering wheel so hard that it bent. What could he do! Everywhere he turned he was faced with disaster, and time was rapidly running out. He had to think of something but it was so hard to think without Eva around. He decided to go back to his house and piece things together-- maybe write another letter to Eva telling her to ditch her stupid lawyer. Maybe, just maybe, she's respond to this letter.
Meanwhile, back in the office, "Felvin McGee" peeled off his mustache and took off his mullet wig. He looked in a mirror and studied the reflection-- yes, Dr. Bruce Mlassen was a very smart, very handsome man. He tried, but he couldn't control his laughter. Soon, Steva would be destroyed forever.
posted by Steeb at 1:30 PM
8 Comments:
FUCK THAT BRUCE MLASSEN. He's the worse thing to happen to Steva since the desert. But I know they'll survive-- you can't kill a friendship as strong as Steva's. You just can't.
God, I hope you can't.
Still the best fucking Steva sight out there-- this is the REAL DEAL: Steve and Eva, caring for one another, being friends with one another, worrying about each other, and rocking the world of friendship from here to Budakan.
OMG! This is getting really serious. Casting ideas for movie? Here's mine.
Eva - Cate Blanchett
Steve - Matt Damon
Bruce Mlassen - Alan Rickman
Felvin Mcgee - Jeff Foxworthy
Come on everybody -- throw yours in!
I've been a fan of Steva since back in the alt.fanfic.friendship days, but I have to say this is one of the best sites I've seen in a long time. Way to go!
I don't know how Steva's gonna do it, but I know they're gonna escape and get back to their awesome friendship.
I'm glad this situation never happened with me or anyone I know, cause I don't know if I could handle it the way Steve and Eva can. They're so upper level.
Okay, here's how I picture the movie:
Eva: Shannon Sossamon. She's very "in" right now. Talented and pretty. A good choice for Eva, I think. Rosario Dawson could also work, I think, because she can play sass.
Steve: Definitely Matt Damon. Good call Russ. Never having met Steve, I've pictured Matt Damon as Steve from word one.
Bruce Mlassen: Leland Orser. To me, he's got the right look. Plus, he knows how to play hurt/evil ie Bone Collector
Felvin McGee: Because Felvin is Bruce Mlassen, he would therefore still need to be played by Leland Orser. However, to disguise his character, he could have his makeup done by the Jim Henson Creature shop.
I don't know, everybody...what do you think? I am open to suggestions and value opinions
Okay, I thought about this all last night and now I got it.
STEVE: Ewan McGregor. There's an age difference and a nationality difference, but very little "soul difference." Ewan is one of the few contemporary actors I still trust.
EVA: Herself. No one else could capture her rambunctious spirit and love of popular alternative music. NO ONE.
BRUCE MLASSEN, FELVIN MCGEEE: Jon Voigt and Paul Reiser. Paul Reiser is a master character actor and John Voigt a genius. Put them together, and you could just barely capture the nefarious nature of Steva's most deadly foe.
THIS MOVIE SHOULD BE DIRECTED BY DAVID FINCHER. NO DISCUSSION.
david "sphincter" is a hack. aliens 3 is the WORST movie i have ever seen in my life and i mean LITERALLY. se7en sucks as well cause i knew who was the killer the whole time and cause brad pit-stain can't act. the steva movie should definetly be directed by marty(as in scorsese if you don't know) cause he can direct anything (GONY, TA). also i think steve should be played by karl urban and eva should be played by eva mendes(and not just cause her name is also eva, @$$holes).
PS> also i already know how steva will get back together in this story im me (pooky2) if you wanna know.
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